i had forgot all about you, beloved monkeycock. but have no fear for i have returned and i will blog all over your adorable little face.
the song for this post is going to be another day by this mortal coil, a song which haunts me and i had almost forgotten it until rinne played it last weekend during her birthday weekend festivities. this song reminds me of lovers long gone and choices made but still questioned. you cannot know the other way it might of been and this itself can make you crazy, if you had just chosen to do something differently in that one moment where would you be right now?
i can recall that exact moment where it could of been entirely different, an entirely different life. I will hide the moment away though, because of its rawness. i will cover it in melody and lyrics until the only ones who knew what it ever meant were the only ones present, and perhaps they have already forgotten.
so i will return to writing, even though this form of writing seems challenging to me. there is a certain honesty in physically writing pen to paper, the sounds of the scratching and the scent of ink and pulp.
but this method i save for my secrets, ones i cannot share.
“I loved you a long time ago, you know
Where the winds own forget-me-nots blow
But I just couldn’t let myself go
Not knowing what on earth there was to know”
i’m upstairs in the recording studio on our old imac and this keyboard is so nasty gross. i usually work downstairs on my laptop but thought since i’m up here already might as well blog here at my rarely used upstairs desk.
the following things are on my forgotten little desk:
-a music box sculpture of a little girl playing piano, which is the only thing i have left from my grandpa miceli.
-an embroidered sign from a listener that awesomely reads “You can’t make me” with squirrels
-a honeysuckle candle (for when the boys fill the studio with farts)
-a book called “Who are you?” which has lots of funny little quizzes to determine who you are as a human being
-an owl drawing from domkus
-some paper and receipts
and a raccoon penis bone.
all these things are needed to create a world empire. if you are missing even a single ingredient you shall fail in any pursuit at world domination. its true, SCIENTIFICALLY true!
i wish you luck in your endeavors, now go have a wonderful weekend and stop making me talk about work.
i love my dogs, they are my babies and when we first got spec nearly 14 years ago domkus made me promise that spec wouldn’t sleep with us. spec had his own little bed and we put it next to ours… which lasted about fifteen seconds.
you see, spec was so small when he was a puppy that he could barely generate his own warmth. you can’t go from sleeping in a pile of puppies to sleeping by yourself in a little bed on the cold floor while two perfectly warm humans lay in the big bed next to you. needless to say that little two pound puppy snuggled in next to us that night and has been there ever since. Whenever we had an addition to the family they crawled right under the covers too.
I was in heaven, the domkus was in hell.
there is a perfectly blissful moment when i hear everyone snoring, a little symphony of snooze. even though the price is dog farts and the occasional bite i still think its worth it to cuddle up with the pups. The only negative thing is that I often sleep very crooked to accommodate all their little bodies. I wake up with a stiff back or a sore shoulder all because these little dogs somehow expand to 300 times their size while asleep. it is magical and sucky all at the same time.
so last week i woke up completely hosed from sharing MY pillow with hercules AND spec and my poor ole’ shoulder was screaming. (not literally screaming because that would mean i grew a very small mouth and vocal cords during the night and if that ever happened i wouldn’t blog about it. EVER. it would be my dark pitty mouth secret and I couldn’t reveal that to the world lest i become less sexy in your eyes.)
so i awoke in pain and did the only thing a poor struggling artist can do when faced with life’s obstacles… i booked a massage. it’s the sacrifice i make for my family.
because i am good…. and generous…. and kind.
and also because i’m a total whiney baby when my bones ache.
i feel much better now and ready to spoon again!
today instead of writing you a story I present a video I saw some time ago that really stuck with me and helped changed my perceptions on love, friendship and devotion.
there are two parts and I hope you find the story as touching as I do.
Please reconsider supporting circuses with live animal acts, your fun afternoon equals a lifetime of imprisonment for these beautiful creatures.
thanks & love
yesterday we spent time with friends cooking out, drinking cocktails and playing summertime games. it was one of those lovely summer days where the music is playing and the sun feels so very good on your skin. i had decided to bring spec along to the cookout BUT he was being such a freak show, only calming down after a few hours but never calm enough to just chill. so then the domkus brought him home so that we could party like teenagers unshackled by responsibilities… drunk… IN THE DAY!
that has to be the number one benefit of having dogs vs. children. you can lock the dogs up in their room and go to a party, then come home and since they can’t talk they dare not judge your stumbly self because only the humans know how to open the magic cans of delicious dead animals!
cans of dead animals sounds gross, like something you would find in a serial killers house… picture it:
police officer, “sir, i think you better come here. we found something in the basement!”
sargent : “what is it officer?”
police officer: “there are hundreds of cans……. (dramatic pause) FILLED WITH ……… DEAD ANIMALS!”
see, totally gross.
so you see children, that’s what memorial day is all about.
so i woke up today feeling a little stuffy and snotty from what I assume is the classic “changing of the seasons” cold.
either that or it is the fact that i cannot sleep without the fan on even though i think it messes with my sinuses. (add that to the fact that i share the bed with no less than five creatures that seem to adore the ancient ritual of the sacred night fart .)
so anyway, i thought ” maybe i should take some zinc in case I am getting sick?” and then proceeded to take a double dose from my vitamin stash. I ate some fruit and went about starting my day… for about fifteen minutes.
that’s when the pain started.
at first it was just a dull ache in my stomach and then quickly became a full on gut wrenching disaster. i would of sworn that an evil elf had crawled up my ass and was now walking around inside of me with sharpened soccer cleats covered in broken glass and acid.
“it was that god damn zinc!” i said to the dogs who were mildly amused at my keeled over body, which apparently was not only worth fighting each other over but also DELICIOUS and had to be licked by all our min pin’s smelly little tongues.
the domkus came downstairs and started to talk to me about something amazing on the iphone, (of course) and all I could mutter was, “I have to barf”
He took me out for some fresh air and only then noticed that I was in fact seriously about TO VOMIT from the PAIN of that GOD DAMN ZINC killing me from INSIDE my belly!
Shivers, goosebumps and a couple of dry heaves later he suggests perhaps we should go inside and I can lay down. This has become “serious”, I agree as long as there is a bucket next to me and as I go to stand up SOMEONE STABS ME IN THE HAND WITH A ICE PICK.
well that’s what it felt like and I started to scream. Domkus then noticed the wasp that had just stung my hand just as I realized that I only THOUGHT i was in pain before but this new wasp sting pain made the zinc pain look like A TOTAL BITCH.
I am whimpering like a baby. You would of too. It was really THAT FUCKING BAD. (and this is from the girl who has on many occasions popped her own dislocated bones back into place without painkillers OR whiskey OR whiskey flavored painkillers)
I have boogers coming out my nose from the tears and my hand is swelling up like a baseball mitt and that’s when my intestines say ” Cue the endless Diarrhea ass fountain experience!”
So needless to say I spend the day in bed recovering from my hideous adventures, damn damn damn the zinc.
today i went to the milwaukee zoo with my nephew Kayden and sister DC. We are both in a fierce competition to be the favorite auntie but she pretty much kicks my ass because of the never ending supply of candy that comes from her magic rip-off tokidoki purse. my REAL tokidoki purses only contain healthy fruit leathers, (my latest addiction) and at least six different types of lip gloss… neither of which are interesting to a two year old boy. So DC gets to be the loving and adored auntie and I get to be the auntie who Kayden yells at and tries to hit….but I can totally hit WAY harder than he can and I can out run his tiny toddler legs no problemo.
A lot of the buildings at the milwaukee zoo were built in the 1960s which until a few years ago totally dated the park. Now it looks incredibly modern and cool, actual retro instead of faux. The new buildings they have opened in the last decade look so generic now and I know the older 60s architecture days are numbered, which is really too bad. Actually zoos in general are pretty sad. I love animals and there is nothing more tear jerking at the zoo than the poor orangutan, he sits there and tries to hide from the endless parade of gawkers. One time he had a small yogurt cup that he kept filling from a running spigot in his cage. We made eye contact and I saw such hopelessness in those eyes, a sense that once he thought someone might wake him up from this terrible dream of captivity but now feels foolish to have ever had that hope.
You are my ancestor, now get in a cage.
I understand the main purpose of a zoo is to educate humans on the amazing creatures that share this earth with us. And I also appreciate the fact I have been able to see animals I may of never seen in the wild and that such effort and care is taken to ensure their well being.
I just wish we didn’t have to imprison them to do so.
During the tour the guide boasted that Milwaukee was the first zoo to group animals in a predator prey situation, meaning the polar bears are right next to the sea lions but not able to attack them because of moats, glass and walls. This has to be so incredibly frustrating to their instinct. Put your favorite food in the world in a glass case and just stare at it for a decade, its gonna suck the big one.
We can’t recreate diet, habitat and social behaviors close enough to mimic mother nature, shit… we as a people can barely feed ourselves properly and get along amicably with members of our own species. So while I had a good day at the zoo with my family I leave there feeling frustrated that I can’t somehow talk to these animals and see if they are ok living there in captivity. I know some of them were born into it and couldn’t even survive in their natural elements… but that’s not exactly a comfort.
I’m still wrestling with this and even though it was fun to see Kayden’s joyful reaction to the animals I have to keep in mind that he was also AMAZED to see ROCKS AND GOLF CARTS!!!
“Did you SEE that CART Titi Dawn??? IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!”
yes Kayden my love, yes I did.
on my birthday a few years ago I saw a video on the tele by a band I had never heard of before. The song was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard and the lyrics literally moved me to tears. They spoke of such love and devotion and I could barely believe a tough bitch like me could be sobbing from a mere song. I immediately bought everything I could from the band and there have been so many treasures in those albums. That song Naked As We Came I heard so many years ago still chokes me up, as do so many of Sam Beams songs. He is such an amazing artist and that is increasingly rare these days. He is often compared to another one of my favorite musicians Nick Drake, whose songs also are very special to me.
The band is called Iron & Wine and they just released a new album today called Around the Well. I haven’t hear a single note of it yet but I just bought it off itunes and already know I cherish it.
who knows, you might too….
Hey u in the cute pants…
i just got back from running errands with the domkus, grocery shopping and such. We try to keep on a budget these days and so there was a moment in the store when I was actually grappling over the $6 toilet paper vs. the usual $12 toilet paper. Would my asshole know the difference? Yes, of course she would. She is an asshole of refinement and luxury, my asshole is a lady that expects the best!
BUTT….. that is a LOT more money, double in fact! And what has she been doing to help earn cash here on the d&d farm? Last time I checked my asshole had yet to kick in for ANYTHING, never mind fancy soft toilet paper! She could be making all sorts of money doing bad things on the internet but nnoooooooo, she just sits there in my pants all day, looking adorable.
So I got the cheaper toilet paper to punish her and her wanton lazy ways! Take that, asshole!
how much you wanna bet i totally regret it in two days…. =(
i have a pen pal and her name is Jenna. She is hands down the very best pen pay in the whole universe and beyond. In fact, she is such a high quality pen pal that I can’t help but feel I am squandering her talents. A few years ago I started to get these wonderful letters from her, pages long full of perfect penmanship and delicious details. Every few weeks I would receive another letter and just devour it, celebrating in the fact that there was someone out there that was WRITING ME! On PAPER! Using their own HAND and then mailing it TO ME!
To receive a letter in the mail is such a wonderful and increasingly rare treat. A physical manifestation that someone else in the world was thinking of you. I want to respond to every letter but then let things get in the way and I suck at it, I am a shitty pen pal undeserving of the caliber that Jenna delivers.
But her letters keep coming and each time I am so very excited to see something poking out of the stack of junk mail. Recently Jenna and her lovely husband Greg had a beautiful baby they named Lloyd. He is five months old and looks just like them, completely adorable. I’ve been meaning to respond to her latest letter and so today I will cut this blog entry short to do just that.
Because Jenna is not just an amazing pen pal, she is my cherished friend.
now go write your own pen pal a letter! they deserve it!!
see you next week kittens
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